Terms & Conditions

Your luggage is entirely your responsibility and we take no responsibility for them whatsoever. In the unlikely event that they are damaged, it’s not our fault. Luggage that contains over 1 microgram of dirt will be considered unsanitary and will incur an additional cleaning cost of £50 per milligram. Any luggage that makes a swishy or scrunchy noise when moved will require soundproofing at an additional charge of £100 per sock.

Rabbits are bloody dangerous. If I were you i'd steer clear.

Cruddlestrump is probably toxic and only 12 deaths have been directly attributed to its consumption (apart from the others). Drink at your own risk -  it tastes lovely*



*does not taste lovely