SPECIAL OFFER Leather Smalls currently 50% on - you only pay 50% extra on the first pair then a further 50% once the garment is finished, there is also a negative discount applied on checkout of 24% which covers other stuff.

Leather Smalls (endorsed by Heather Smallsy)

Willis pants

Leather Smalls is an exclusive brand specialising in tight fitting leather products for men aged between 15 and 55. Our leather is imported from Patagonia and made from the hairy genitalia of the Oriental Rat Flea, the closest genetic match to a fully grown adult man male sapien. Over 3 million hairy flea genetaliamums are used for each pair of pants and they are sewn locally in Laddingford by Kentish virgins using the muff mixing technique, hence the slight resemblance to a pubic wig.

Leather Smalls can confirm that we are not in any way linked with the BBC programme "Naughty Businesses" that they are made from the shower plug refuse.

We are privileged to have the range modelled recently in New Yoik fashion week by Chris (27, 32, 37) and endorsed by Heather Smallsy.

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I would like to order some Willis pants at the very reasonable cost of £150 per pair (that's £300 in total). I also understand that the pants may take some time until dispatch*.

*Dispatch can take as much as 20 years as the Oriental Rat Flea population only numbers 20,000; you will have to wait until the population increases. This is further hampered by the annual ORF cull, where 19,998 are culled every year.

"My pants are so comfortable, I even bought some for the butcher and he has particularly large hams"

Buy now

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"I told you last time, just because Heather Smalls sounds a bit like Leather Smalls does not mean that I'm going to endorse them"
Endorsed by Heather Smallsy from the famous pop group Boney M

Heather Smallsy

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