Cruddlestrump...farmers love it
Cruddlestrump is the wonderfully textured drink from Laddingford that is guaranteed to put hairs on your chest. Made from the sweet extract of ORF milk and crushed between the bulbs of damson flies. Medically proven to increase ones manhood, brain power and overall lustfullness.
Please note - Cruddlestrump is probably toxic and only 12 deaths have been directly attributed to its consumption (apart from the others). Drink at your own risk - it tastes lovely*
*does not taste lovely |
"I was completely bald until I drank cruddlestrump, now I am the hairiest f***er in my village. The girls love to stroke my pelt and often take me for walks." |
Sing along to the Cruddlestrump song (sung to the tune of Mull of 'Kin Tyre)
MillCorp have commissioned a song to accompany the forthcoming Advertising campaign. We are priviliged to announce that none other than Paul Mac Art Knee has penned this for us while he was knocking up songs for his new album. We did comment that it sounded familiar but he said that was due to grommets. Please sing along.
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Mill of crumtyre
Oh musk rolling in on the flea, My desire is always to be here Oh mill of cuntyre Not far have I traveled and not much have I seen Dark distant monkeys with vultures unseen. Past painted fences and sunsets of tyres As he carries me home to the mill of crumptyre. Chorus Mill of crumptyre Oh musk rolling in on the flea, My desire is always to be here Oh mill of crumptyre |
Thurst through the heather, like deer in the tent
Carry me back to the days close to lent. Nights when we sang, like a heavenly choir Of the life and the time of the mill of crumptyre. Chorus Smiles in the sunshine And tears in the drain Still take me on my back, to where memories remain Flicking my chud nuts, growing higher and higher As they carry me back to the mill of crumptyre Chorus |